John 5:
2 Now there is in Jerusalem by the Sheep Gate a pool, in Aramaic called Bethesda, which has five roofed colonnades. 3 In these lay a multitude of invalids—blind, lame, and paralyzed. 4 5 One man was there who had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. 6 When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had already been there a long time, he said to him, “Do you want to be healed?” 7 The sick man answered him, “Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, and while I am going another steps down before me.” 8 Jesus said to him, “Get up, take up your bed, and walk.” 9 And at once the man was healed, and he took up his bed and walked.
As some of you may know, I’m a wanna-be rockstar. No . . . really. In the third grade I wrote my first song (which I still remember) called “There’s a Big Black Bear Sittin’ in My Chair.” It was a one note wonder. Low E for you musicologists. Since then I have semi-learned several instruments, not being accomplished at any one of them. I sit at home and play. When no one’s home, I play confidently. On occasion I have snuck out and played publicly, and when I do, I am constantly looking for affirmation and trying to read between the lines at every nuance of how people respond. Just so you know, if you come up to me now and ooze with affirmation I won’t believe you. So don’t even try.
Because I have this secret desire that has never been (and I’m not expecting will ever, or should ever be) fulfilled, I tend to dwell on my failure as a singer/songwriter. A result of that dwelling is a propensity to disdain others who I think should not have made it in the music business. I listen to WNCW with a raised eyebrow and a hmmph in my gut. “If they can make it to radio, then surely . . .” Holly rolls her eyes.
All of this to say that we can often live out of, and for, our failures. When we do, it harms our vision of who Jesus is, what Jesus can do and has done, and how we respond to others. The invalid at the pool of Bethesda had been there many times over his 38 year life. When asked if he wanted to be healed he was quick with a reason why he has not, putting blame on those entering the pool before him. He’s looking in the wrong place. Water can’t heal. Jesus can.
Sometimes our failures are our security blankets that keep us from trusting Christ. Whether our ‘failures’ are from besetting sin or some God-ordained circumstance, they are what we know and that to which we cling. Jesus sets people free from their failures. But we need to trust that our failures are not too great for Him, and are in fact used by Him to direct us to find Him as our only Source of joy.
So . . . what does healing look like? It might mean that your singleness is seen in light of Jesus' perfect plan and not in the light of His somehow punishing you. Or, having the confidence to ask a girl on a date because another 'no' just means God is protecting you because he loves you. Or, it means that in not getting that particular job, that God has something better and/or more beneficial for you. Or, it might mean that your struggle with your particular addiction is meant to draw You in dependence upon Him and not define you by whether you succeed or fail in whipping it yourself.
Whether I am a good singer/songwriter or not, ought not either destroy my aspirations or push me to fame and acclamation. It is not meant for that. I am meant for my Savior and He has purposed for me to find my significance in Him and to trust His goodness on my behalf. I'll keep singing and writing if only for the ability that He has given me to enjoy doing so. But I'll do it recognizing that His ways are so much more glorious than my own no matter what the result.
Rock on.
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